One of the funniest things I have ever read on the internet. From the Peoples Cube.

In an audacious raid Friday, al-Qaeda terrorists managed to slip past White House security and seize President Obama’s teleprompter. Their demands were released in a grainy video, which apparently showed the president’s teleprompter, bound and blindfolded but  unharmed, while heavily armed masked men stood behind it, quoting from the Qur’an. The content of their demands is not being released.

President Obama, visibly shaken, attempted to address the White House press corps on his own. “Words, uh, um, I, uh, heh-heh, well…”

“We need a verb!” shouted David Gregory of MSNBC.

“I uh, know that,” quipped the president testily. “And… I’ll make sure my staff, uh, gets back with you,” he resumed after regaining his composure.

Leon Panetta, CIA Director: I’d like to address the terrorists, wherever they are hiding: If you did this because you were annoyed by our president saying “uh” too often in his speeches, then stealing the teleprompter is not going to help. Just think about it.

Lots more on the Peoples Cube site, including a photo of the kidnapped, bound and clearly terrified teleprompter. Despite brutal treatment the teleprompter is maintaining a brave silence.